The Positive “No” and the Negative “Yes”

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that many of the things that bring me the most joy today were never part of my original plans. Often, I envision how I want things to unfold—I plan, I strategize, I dream. And when life takes a completely different turn, it can feel like a betrayal. It’s easy to wonder, “God, are You not seeing what I’m seeing?”

I remember when I was in elementary school, and my parents decided to change my school. I fought that decision with everything I had. I couldn’t imagine leaving the friends I had already made. I resisted in every way possible. But when I eventually settled into the new school, I met some of the most wonderful friends—people I remain grateful for to this day.

Another vivid memory is from after I completed my first degree. I had always dreamed of doing my national service (NYSC) in a particular state in Nigeria—one that I believed was full of opportunities for growth. I was so sure it was the best path for me. But when the posting results came out, I was sent somewhere entirely different—and to be honest, it was my least preferred option at the time.

Reluctantly, I went. And again, I met amazing people—friends, landlords, fellow corps members, and colleagues at the Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria in Ibadan. Later on, I worked briefly with great mentors at First Bank in Ibadan, many of whom I’m still in contact with. I joined a church there, and it was through that community that I met my wife.

What I’ve learned is this: sometimes a “No” from God is a blessing in disguise, and sometimes a “Yes” can be more damaging than we realize. As humans, we often assume we can plan, prepare, and perfectly execute our lives. But while we can (and should) be diligent, disciplined, and committed to our paths, execution is often beyond our control.

The earlier we embrace this truth, the better. Not all “Nos” are harmful—and not all “Yeses” are favorable.